Відео

Dr. Tom I personally LOVE your videos! Although this video, I purposely searched for it in aims of learning more of the healthy patterns of enneagram 4. We want to know these traits in more depth; and appreciate them too! 🥰 New video idea maybe?

Yes, someone who INSPIRES YOU to be better!

TOM HAS BEAUTIFUL EYES 😊

In my experience, flip the first and third mbti letter for the best friend couple

Women being dramatic is challenging men to step up in the relationship, subconsciously

9w1- I do unashamedly love movies and shows, but I also spent a lot of time doing art, singing in 2 choirs, exploring new places and so much more. I have often felt relatively balanced about it... until March of this year when I got a new job. Ever since, I hardly do art and instead of working on my creative entrepreneurial goals, I have been finding myself spending so much time watching tv...I used to at least watch tv AND do art, but sometimes I just look across the room at my art table and think "Whatever...what's the point. I'll do it tomorrow." But then I don't. So I think I am definitely off balance in the movie/show department right now.

The direction, not the goal

Yes, numb to fear and blind to odds when I can’t not do whatever I need to do

thank you so much, Tom.

At your best you look like a 2 😮

True true

Excellent video to start my day with. I’ll be thinking in this throughout the day.

Great video Tom❤

Wow… exactly what I needed to see today. Incredible. (Just recorded my first podcast attempt last night so this is perfect). Thanks man!!!

It's a great video, but it doesn't have any tags. The video tag is the most important.

Awesome video keep up the excellent content.

After watching this and almost every videos of your channel, I feel like i am 7. But sometimes, I doubt whether I'm a type 1. Because when my happiness is gone, I will make-up my mind thinking "That's my fate or It's all my fault" or something like that. But I'm mostly afraid of being a bad person. If I felt I did hurt someone or did a wrong thing, I immediately want to make it right and prove that I'm a good person. I'm an introvert and i'm not a funny, bubbly person like most 7s. Also I think my MBTI type is INFJ. Other than these, all of the things which you described as a 7 are matching with me.

Lol. Not Dr Tom’s 7ness going to 1 when talking about 4s!!! 🤣👏 And also, thank you for all that you do to help us understand the enneagram and ourselves 😊

As a four, I cannot hide yawning in class and that frustrates the teachers. I think there’s living authentically to a certain extent 😂😂😂

Minimize needs is spot on.

Anger is an empowering emotion to take action!

i needed to hear this today, thank you!

As I listen, I’m aware that at least in my experience a lot of this has to do with a conflation of information and experiences. Because information is so readily meaningful to me, I can confuse sharing facts, anecdotes, and connections with other ways of sharing myself. Insofar as I buy into that conflation, “I don’t care (about your information)” really can feel like “I don’t care (about you).” While my relationship with information and introversion is certainly beautiful and affirming, I am also fully capable of using its primacy to crowd out my awareness of what kinds of experiences in myself and others make me uncomfortable- such as openly addressing anger etc. It’s that stubbornness, almost an opportunistic solipsism, and its downstream effects that are problematic, not, as some comments on your 5 videos seem to suggest, introversion in itself. I really appreciate that you come to what can be tricky or sensitive subject matter with a clear intent to better understand, to really communicate care, and to value in people simultaneously where they are and where they can be. Thank you for your sincerity.

💀💀💀

This is true

So good!

So why do I relate to an 8 but I know I have a majority of these 5 traits

4w5 here…my paralyzing feelings seem to be shadow…or it’s just my undisciplined 4…

And when they finally had their cook out they were infested by beetles but they didn't know the difference and thought it was cockroaches and threw the whole food away and never told 5 what happened.

My husband is a 6 and I’m a 3 and he’s a Leo on Virgo cusp and I’m a Capricorn and now he’s got confirmed BPD. Are we doomed 😢

What if the toxic (narcissist) is your spouse??? 31 years and I’m exhausted!!! Life has been sucked out! If I didn’t have Jesus, his word and my friends, I’d quit!!!

I can't decide if I'm a 9 or a 5. Why can't I choose.

I really appreciate this video. You do a really nice job and in a really nice way.

Good timing for me too 🙏🏼

I really appreciate your insights! I share your videos often. Thank you and God bless you! 🙏

YES! Thank you for this! Something has gone wrong in our culture where everyone seems so afraid of being exposed as "imperfect" that they're no longer taking necessary risks for growth and for eventual success. Of course there are all kinds of good explanations for the origin(s) and source(s) of this fear...but unless and until we can recognize the huge problems that result from overly fearing failure, we can't and/or won't even ask ourselves the necessary question..."what is it that feels so intolerable about failure? These days, I find it so refreshing when I see anyone who allows themselves to get pulled toward something that interests them, whether they they know the first thing about it or not. There's only one way to learn and that's to just "start somewhere"...and be "willing" to fail....Failures are not "really" failures if we recognize them for what they are...which is "information" that helps us navigate our way through our next attempt.

I'm so grateful to be married to my best friend. Last week, we celebrated 18 years together and 16 years married. It saddens me how many couples aren't one another's closest companions. Sure, it means constant work, but it's a worthy investment. Having had otherwise, I greatly appreciate easy-breezy, drama-free days of partnership with my bestie.

I feel like my 6-ness is making me very lonely in life. It seems like when someone does show interest in friendship, it feels like they're the throw caution to the wind types, but I enjoy reading and having deep conversation. It's so hard to find someone who actually wants to think past their noses. Is the answer to just stop thinking? (This is a sincere question. I'm not trying to be snarky. I, honestly, don't know how to relate to people anymore.)

That is so true

The things you're talking about seem to be the fundamental needs of a man. It's good, but there are things that a woman needs from a husband before they can be friends with him. We will naturally want to be friends with our spouse if he is providing security and takes time to communicate and gives non sexual affection. This is foundational.

I encourage others. Thanks for encouraging me!

Godzilla and Jesus never surrender and neither shall We!

Thank you. All I wanted to do all day was give up and I came home and found this. Thankyou

You right! I got my shot loaded right now! Thank you for the advice!!

I think it's more a Cassandra complex than a fear of rejection. Pointing out the room is on fire while everyone else debates what colour we should paint the walls is crazy-making. Also, being incapable of surface level relationships, while simultaneously runnning in terror from the co-dependency that masquerades as intimacy in our culture, leaves us feeling like we must just be bad at people. When we run out of energy, or fail to read the room again, or insert some interesting tidbit no one else relates to, we don't *fear* rejection, we're just disappointed and bored by its predictability.

Might be unexpected coming from a 4, but a couple of the people I admire most are 1’s. And they are so incredible that they absolutely deserve to have fun 🎉

It's like you watch the groups of people who have somehow coalesced together and you never see the IQ of the many combine into a larger value. In fact, studying gatherings it seems the progression is towards a smaller IQ with every addition to the group. And perhaps subconsciously, you have no desire to go down that road, because all that grunt work you've invested in might just go down the tubes as you somehow arrive in the group's mean, mental range. It's like assimilation into "the Borg" or something. Maybe. Kinda sorta.

So thats why I tested and got a 5 I've been overwhelmed lately but when I started down this path I really started to resonate with 8s and I feel like I'm definitely an 8

I needed this.

I wish your presentations offered more unbiased objectivity